The rollercoaster of a relationship with someone experiencing bipolar disorder is a journey marked by intense highs and devastating lows.
One common pattern that leaves many partners bewildered and heartbroken is the tendency for these exes to return, often with promises of change and redemption.
My best friend recently experienced this firsthand…
After a tumultuous relationship with her bipolar partner, she finally found the strength to end things during one of his manic episodes. Relief washed over her, and she began to rebuild her life. However, just when she thought she had moved on, her ex reached out, apologizing profusely and claiming to be in a much better place. Filled with hope, she agreed to meet with him. But just as quickly as the reconciliation began, it ended, leaving her feeling more shattered than ever.
This experience is unfortunately not uncommon. The cyclical nature of these relationships can be incredibly draining, and it’s essential to understand why this pattern persists.
The Rollercoaster of Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition characterized by extreme mood swings, from manic highs to depressive lows.
These fluctuations can dramatically impact relationships, leading to periods of intense connection and subsequent detachment.
It’s essential to understand that bipolar disorder is a complex illness, and those affected are not solely responsible for their actions during manic or depressive episodes.
The Lure of the Familiar
One reason bipolar exes often return is the comfort and familiarity of the relationship. During stable periods, individuals with bipolar disorder can be incredibly loving, supportive, and fun to be around. When a relationship ends, the memory of these positive experiences can be a powerful draw. It’s as if they’re reaching out for a lifeline, a familiar harbor in a stormy sea.
However, it’s crucial to remember that these periods of stability are often temporary. The underlying illness remains, and the likelihood of experiencing another manic or depressive episode is high.
The Backup Plan Mentality
My friend’s experience is a heart breaking example of how people with bipolar disorder can inadvertently treat their partners as backup options.
During manic phases, impulsive decisions, including ending relationships, are common. As the mania subsides, regret and remorse can set in, leading to attempts at reconciliation.
It’s essential to recognize that this behaviour is not a personal reflection of you or your worth. It’s a symptom of the illness. While it’s natural to hope for a happy ending, it’s equally important to prioritize your own well-being and protect yourself from further hurt.
The Impact on the Partner
Living with someone who has bipolar disorder can be emotionally exhausting.
The constant uncertainty, the fear of the next mood swing, and the pain of repeated betrayals can take a toll on your mental and emotional health.
It’s essential to prioritize self-care, seek support from friends, family, or a therapist, and establish healthy boundaries.
Breaking Free from the Cycle
It’s challenging to let go of someone you love, especially when you believe there’s hope for improvement. But continuing a relationship with a person who is struggling with bipolar disorder without proper support can be detrimental to your own well-being.
Here are some steps to consider:
- Seek professional help: A therapist can provide guidance, support, and coping strategies.
- Build a strong support system: Surround yourself with people who understand and care about you.
- Set boundaries: Establish clear limits on what you are and are not willing to tolerate.
- Focus on self-care: Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being.
- Educate yourself about bipolar disorder: Understanding the illness can help you make informed decisions.
While it’s undoubtedly painful to witness someone you love struggling with bipolar disorder, it’s essential to maintain perspective.
Their actions are driven by the illness, not by a personal vendetta against you. By understanding the dynamics of this complex condition, you can better protect yourself and move forward with your life.
